Here’s last month’s newsletter, in case you missed out:
https://deepleft.substack.com/p/before-i-die
These monthly newsletters are paywalled posts where I go into my life, my personality, the state of this project, and my future plans.
In past newsletters, I’ve been complaining about money from behind a paywall. This is a nasty habit. No one who pays me money wants to hear me complain about money. So instead, I will be complaining about money outside the paywall, and stop kvetching once we are safely inside the paywall.
Last July, I decided to become a full-time writer. I applied for a part time job in August, to see if I could just be a part-time writer. Play it safe. They liked me so much, they demanded I accept a full-time position. I was faced with a decision. Go back to the corporate world, or throw it all away with a risky play?
I decided I would consider myself a success or failure based on whether or not I earned $10k in a year. Working 40 hours a week for 50 weeks a year is 2,000 hours, and $10k over 2,000 hours is $5 an hour. Not asking for a lot here. I've been complaining about money from behind a paywall, because it's shameful and embarrassing to complain about money. I thought, "the paying subscribers are all my friends; they won't mind a bit of complaining. They might even enjoy it."
This is the exact opposite of what I should be doing. I should be complaining to the free people, and giving the paying people a respite from my whining.
Why do I do this?
I’m not doing this for money. I can work a normal job, like any other American, and have more than enough to afford health insurance, a car loan, an apartment, and 2.5 vacations per year. I didn’t start writing full time on Substack because I wanted to make more money. On the contrary, I’ve lost tens of thousands of dollars by being “anti-employed.” I’ve refused to apply for any jobs. I’ve been fully focused, dedicated, and locked-in.
Secondly, I’m not doing this for popularity. If I wanted to be popular, I’d adopt one of two positions: edgy leftist (Hasan or Vaush), or edgy rightist (Fuentes or Tate). I could also just be entirely non-political and gain much more popularity than either one (Mr. Beast). I could cover e-drama, or spend all my time on editing and graphic design to cater to the lowest common denominator, who crave bright colors and the melodious tones of Kevin MacLeod.
In trying to network and grow my audience, I’ve hit a brick wall with leftists, who think I’m a eugenicist, and also with rightists, who think I’m a degenerate Jewish subversive. Part of this is because I enjoy being disagreeable, contrarian, and rubbing people the wrong way. I don’t like being part of a crowd.
This is ultimately a passion project. I do it because I enjoy it — not because it makes me popular or pays the bills. I hope someday it all pays off, and a millionaire loves my writing so much that he grants me a cottage on his estate, so I can live out the rest of my life as a court philosopher. I’ve run across a few of those people, but they are looking for some sort of ROI that I can’t give them.
Ok, that’s enough free information! Paywall ahead!
Accepting a job offer.
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