Against "Elitism"
Recent life events have forced me to reconsider some of my beliefs.
Like everything in our spiritually crippled, mythically impoverished world, “April Fool’s Day” is just another joke. But it wasn’t always this way.
Originally, Christmas was a time of simplicity and sacrifice, featuring the humble Christ-child in the manger, a picture of poverty and world-rejection. Now “Xmas” means shop till you drop, drunken parties, and the highest rate of suicide. I spent last Christmas completely alone, and Thanksgiving too. If I cannot have the real holiday, and there’s no one to celebrate with, what’s the point of pretending? It seems like blasphemy and spiritual adultery to replace the real thing with a cheap imitation. If I cannot have a raw religion, a Holy Day, I will not settle for a “holiday.”
The Romans had a day called Saturnalia, the festival of Saturn, in which all hierarchies were turned upside down. Masters served their slaves, and slaves became the masters. This is the hidden origin of April Fool’s Day, which I will now try to resurrect, in my own small way.
The Romans believed that the chief God of the Phoenecians was Saturn, and when the Carthaginians issued a terrible defeat to the Roman army, the Romans celebrated a desperate and hysterical Saturnalia. Although it was long established that human sacrifice was sacrilegious and taboo, the Romans, in their moment of weakness, believed that Saturn could be appeased if they turned their backs on their own Gods. At the height of despair, the Romans broke all their taboos, sacrificed human men to Saturn, and saved themselves from destruction. By worshipping Saturn, they overcame their enemy, and a peninsular Republican was forever transformed into an oceanic empire.
It is in this sense that I “subvert” April Fool’s Day, inverting it from a day of childish pranks into a day of deep and dark reflection.
And like the Romans, I coincidentally find myself, on this day, at my lowest point.
Recent life events have forced me to reconsider some of my beliefs. If I cannot get my own house in order, what authority do I have to pass judgment on larger phenomena?
I’ve fallen into despair. I publicly crashed out. I’ve had terrible insomnia. I got sick for the first time in four years, and I even broke my tooth because of how stressed I’ve been. Now my smile is all fucked up and I look like some homeless, toothless freak.
I can’t even afford to go to the dentist, because I’ve been rapidly losing paid subscribers, and I’m deep in debt. I feel like everything is just getting worse. But maybe this is part of a necessary transformation. It’s certainly making me see my life and politics in a different light.
How am I, a blogger, in any substantive sense, elite? My income is low. My intelligence is above average, but hardly genius-level. I don’t have any status or power that places me above any other college graduate. I am basically a normal person, even if I have some odd emotional quirks.
And yet, I’ve LARPed as an elite for the past three years, defending the concept of the “deep state.” In my drive to become ever more contrarian for likes and clicks, I’ve even defended sexual predators, like Henry Sisson, Destiny, Peter Thiel, P Diddy, and Jeffrey Epstein. Why do I feel so compelled to defend their behavior? Is it because I feel guilty about my own perverse desires, developed out of a lifelong porn addiction?
Since I was a kid, I always had autistic delusions of grandeur. I would spend hours redrawing maps of Europe to conform to my alternative-history fantasies. Looking back on it, why was I so emotionally invested in these autistic tasks? Clearly, I got some feeling of power out of the exercise. I could imagine myself like Napoleon, Stalin, or Hitler, lording over the lives of millions, bending them to my will.
This narcissistic tendency is unhealthy. No man has the right to determine the destiny of any other. Humans have some differences in ability, but we will all eventually die in the same way, naked and alone. As Shakespeare said, the king will go through the guts of a beggar.
My time on Earth is short. Am I going to waste it engaged in elitist fantasies?
In one such elitist fantasy, McGenics makes the world a better place. By allowing parents to mutiliate their children, bad genes go extinct. But at what cost? Transgender kids might have some in-born insecurities, but does that mean they deserve to be sacrificed on the altar of Moloch? What kind of demonic logic is that?
Countries like Venezuela and Gaza might not be the most “progressive,” but at least they don’t mutilate children. What is the value of all this wealth and freedom if we can’t even protect the most vulnerable among us? Morally speaking, the mutilation of a child is no better than outright murder — both leave lifelong scars that you can never recover from. In some cases, you’d be better off dead. It’s too horrifying for me to comprehend. Up until now, I’ve taken an pro-trans “extremist” position, as a way to piss off conservatives. But the trolling has gotten old, lately.
All of this sexual confusion is part of a larger problem. We are increasingly disconnected from our bodies, from instinct, from love itself.
The loneliness crisis is starting to wear me down, personally. No matter how hard I try, I still haven’t gotten laid in months. When I wrote all those articles attacking incels, I was still getting lucky. Now that I’ve hit a dry streak, and the shoe is on the other foot, I wonder if I wasn’t being too harsh. It’s forced some introspection on just how vicious the dating market is these days.
And before you ask, yes, I’ve been on the apps, and I got a haircut, and I work out and diet and exercise and everything. I even asked a girl out in public, before she turned me down.
Even if I’m not technically an incel (I could always hire a prostitute), things still look pretty grim for someone seeking a genuine connection. Honestly: look around, and what do you see? Decadence, hedonism, perversion. Every street is filled with smut. How are we supposed to raise families in this environment? Sperm counts and testosterone are plummeting. What’s the point of life if we can’t even reproduce? Why bother working or trying if you don’t have a wife and kids to come home to?
The uneducated have 8 kids on welfare; but someone like me, a decent person with a 130 IQ, has no Darwinian success to speak of. I am a genetic dead end, not because I am inferior, but because all of the natural biological incentive structures of sex and mating have been inverted by a parasitical system that worships the lowest common denominator.
Porn-addicted gooner-brained girls fantasize about being raped, but they are still too afraid to connect with a man emotionally. Every girl I try to date has an OnlyFans or a body count. It’s harder than ever to find love in this corrupted world.
For most of human history, I would already be married with kids at age 19. But now, I spend every night alone. I know I’m not the only one — every guy I know watches porn. Even the ones with girlfriends know that divorce is a 50-50 shot. Why bother getting married if she’s just going to divorce you and take the kids?
We’ve forgotten the basic necessities of human happiness. Everyone is lonely and depressed. Life is boring and pathetic. I know it’s a meme, but at this point, I really might as well be drinking bug juice and living in a pod. What exactly would be different?
Is this humiliating state of affairs really worth a slightly higher GDP?
MAGA has been a failure, but the core message is basically correct: some things actually were better in the past, and we need to try our best to bring that back. Maybe it’s impossible, and we’re probably fucked anyway, but shouldn’t we at least try?
If the choice is between a long slow decline, and a fun civil war with a chance to make things better, I choose civil war. I’ve always thought it would be badass to die in a war anyway. Better than pathetically jerking myself off for the next 50 years.
I still oppose Trump, because he has been completely ineffective, failing all his promises and delivering nothing for the average person. But imagine a better version of Trump, one who actually lived up to his ideals. Someone who was more than a corrupt politician, who could get us out of this mess.
The problem with Trump is that he’s too lazy and only cares about himself. And after Trump is gone, it’s basically over. If he couldn’t do it, no one can.
I’m not ever going to vote for him, but having Vance as president wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. At the very least, he is kind of funny. Like, just imagine having a strong, independent Indian wife that you could tease with jokes about mass deportations, lol. Every now and then, you could bully your son about his half-breed heritage… I could have a beer with a guy like that — someone who can take a joke, and doesn’t feel the need to use “teacher voice” up-talk.
Compare him to Kamala Harris. I supported her in 2024, but her voice is objectively annoying. Vance is a Marine who grew up on a farm on the American frontier. The contrast with all these disgusting shrieking harpies is striking.
I’ve tried to steelman the position for immigration in the past, because I cynically thought it would help me win brownie points with “elites” and help me break into mainstream circles. But objectively speaking, mass immigration has been disastrous on every level. The lobbying for immigration comes from corrupt corporations who want more slave labor, or from liberal women who have been brainwashed into pathological altruism. The media portrays migrants as “masculine,” and women swallow this propaganda, and then are surprised when they get raped. It’s disgusting.
Look at what happened to Rhodesia, Haiti, and South Africa. Those countries were thriving, first-world metropolises. But very quickly, things changed. It could happen here, too.
Mexicans consistently vote for the most radical-left politicians possible. They want to ban free speech, the 2nd amendment, and Christianity itself. After importing the third world, we’ll become the third world. We’ll have to live in gated reservations with barbed wire and private security guards. The rich have the money to afford this, but what about people like us, who can’t afford the gated community? What will happen to us and our children?
I’ve tried everything possible to succeed to secure a future for myself, despite these trends. In college, I learned Python and Matlab, thinking it would help me get a decent job after graduation. I thought a college education would help. I even took the stupid gender studies classes.
Then I graduated, and surprise surprise: I was saddled with student loans, and my friends who didn’t go to college had better wages in the trades.
If we complain about any of this, they call us “fascist,” “racist,” or “incel.” But compare my life to that of the Boomers. When they were growing up, you could buy a house, a car, and have 6 kids on a single income working in a factory. Then, they decided to ship our jobs overseas, and import slave labor from Mexico. The result was predictable. You don’t have to be “elite human capital” to figure that one out.
Everything is more expensive: college, healthcare, housing. All the food is fake — if you want real food, you have to buy “organic,” and even that is suspect. Families are broken, men and women hate each other, and everyone is bowling alone. How is any of this an improvement over what we had just a few decades ago?
Think about all the things that “elite human capital” got wrong:
COVID is dangerous
but masks won’t help
then masks are necessary
vaccines are “safe and effective” (lol)
racism is a “public health emergency”
but “healthy at any size”
global warming is real (coldest winter on record, btw)
black crime doesn’t exist
there are no race differences in IQ
men and women are equal
trans women are women
And if you object to any of this, they call you a Nazi, or a “conspiracy theorist.” It’s so sickening.
By the way: The same people who push all this bullshit also want you to believe that Hitler was “the worst person of all time.” Now, before you freak out, I’m not apologizing for Hitler. Hitler was a bad person, but so was Genghis Khan. But why do they push this special obsession with Hitler so hard, which is always used to shame, humiliate, and guilt Western Civilization into submission?
If I’m being honest, I suppose this is as good a time as any to admit that I don’t have any Jewish ancestry. I just pretended to be Jewish because it sounded more “elite.” I wanted to feel superior to others, so I made fun of “the goyim.” It was a dumb joke that went too far.
To be clear: I’m not saying that Hitler is good, or anything like that. World War II was absolutely terrible and I wouldn’t ever want something like that to happen again. But let’s be honest: the victors write the history.
We should at least have room for nuance on this subject. The Nazis had a real global vision, and their “elite” had classical aesthetics, and a sense of responsibility to the common man. It wasn’t just this exploitative, extractive, kitsch “hyper-capitalism” we have now in Silicon Valley. There was an appreciation for beauty, and a meaning and purpose outside of greed and materialism.
At the very least, if Hitler won, we wouldn’t have mass immigration of third worlders, dysgenics, out-of-control crime, weed-smoke everywhere, or filthy trash-covered streets. Great men like Alexander and Caesar would be afforded the respect they deserve; we wouldn’t drag every honorable thing through filth and dirt. Hitler would have never allowed these experimental vaccines, or mass child sacrifice (abortion), or transgenderism. I’m not saying it would be a better world, but it’s something to think about.
I feel like I’ve been wasting my life writing this blog, and I have nothing to show for it. I’ve decided to apply for some jobs. I’m going to try to do something with my hands, and get off the internet for a bit. I think this social media stuff has been making me dumber and more depressed. I just do it because I have nothing better to do. I want to join a community and have some stability in my life.
Besides that, I honestly think this blog has run its course. There’s not much of a point in posting anymore. Who would really care if I just deleted everything? I mean I guess some of you would complain for a bit, but then everyone would forget about me, like I never even existed. Nothing seems to matter anymore.
I’ve done this kind of thing before, like when I deleted the Youtube channel I had for so many years. Sometimes I just get tired of life, and I realize I need a fresh start. A “great reset,” in the positive sense.
I’ll leave this up for a couple days, but I don’t want to do this anymore. I’m tired and exhausted. Everything I do ends in failure. I need to try something different.