29 Comments
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Reid's avatar

>As a man, if you grow out long hair, and you’re not really well-dressed, and you don’t work out, it basically means you’ve given up on life. I asked him, “going to see the Minecraft movie?” He said, “how could you tell?” I didn’t say to him, “well it looks like we’ve both given up on life, and we’re both white guys showing up on time.” But we had a silent understanding between us.

Harsh, but fair. I feel very called out.

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DeepLeftAnalysis🔸's avatar

we're in this together Reid

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Will's avatar

I don’t know how serious you were being about your life going downhill but I really enjoy your writing, including this review.

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DeepLeftAnalysis🔸's avatar

For entertainment purposes only, the quality of writing will increase inversely proportional to quality of life. You can't get Van Gogh without cutting off a few ears.

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Aodhan MacMhaolain's avatar

He's jewish, he has serious genetic disorders.

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Nice Guy's avatar

This convinced me to see the Minecraft movie

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Nice Guy's avatar

I did not like the Minecraft Movie

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Sectionalism Archive's avatar

I was pretty surprised that they didn't make Steve Black, tbh. Steve was definitely intended to be White, as early Minecraft promotional art regularly depicted Steve as pale in a stylized setting, but Mojang is going in the direction of blackifying Steve. In the 1.20 update, Steve was made darker than any of his previous versions. The Steve texture is from Zombie Town, which takes place at night time, which is probably why Steve is dark.

https://sectionalismnotes.substack.com/p/minecraft

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DeepLeftAnalysis🔸's avatar

Make Steve White Again

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Yotam Dinour's avatar

The definitive Minecraft Movie analysis, no more needs to be written about it

Nor do reviews need to be written, as it is not a film to be reviewed, but the industry churns on regardless

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Plasma Bloggin''s avatar

Dang it, do I have to go see *A Minecraft Movie* now? Do I have to go to my EHC grad school friends and ask, "Hey, does anyone want to go see A Minecraft Movie with me? I want to yell at the screen when Jack Black says, 'chicken jockey'"?

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John A. Johnson's avatar

I was considering it, even though I have played Minecraft for less than 10 hours. Now I really want to see it. Hopefully with my 15-year-old grandson, who can explain stuff to me.

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DeepLeftAnalysis🔸's avatar

He's going to have a blast.

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Quambale Bingle's avatar

> Maybe because I secretly always wanted to be the jock, but it was always just barely out of reach…

I've noticed a persistent pattern in history that the very worst, most pernicious people perfectly match this description.

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Ejvfgjvc's avatar

Baby Gronk just stole Livvy from the Drip King. On his visit to LSU, Baby Gronk rizzed up Livvy and they started dating. They're so in love, Baby Gronk got Livvy's name tattooed on his arm. Is Baby Gronk the new Drip King? Or is Livvy just using him for clout?

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Poimandres Hypersphere's avatar

fucking finally something worth reading. kinda reminds me of the legendary dragon alephwyr before its personality was gentrified.

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jed's avatar
Apr 22Edited

Not really. The Minecraft Movie participation ritual is mocking the Minecraft Movie for being bad. When one yells out “chicken jockey” with the crowd before giving a standing ovation at a Minecraft Movie screening they are signaling their familiarity with the memes that were percolating around TikTok when the trailers for the movie were coming out. These memes mocked the movie for being typically shitty Hollyweird live action slop and attempting to make up for it by forcing references to in-game trivia (I am Steve, Flint and Steel, the Villagers, etc.) The Minecraft Movie phenomenon is the Morbius phenomenon except somehow gainful. It has absolutely nothing to do with the film itself. It’s honestly kind of embarrassing that you actually ‘watched’ the movie, ‘enjoyed’ it unironically and then returned home to write some tedious screed about what it means for ‘white identity’. You are painfully out of touch

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Kevin's avatar

Just wanted to say that I enjoyed this article a lot. It was just so funny and authentic and perceptive and it really feels like smth only you could have written. And it even convinced me and a friend to watch the Minecraft movie this past week. Stay strong!

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Phoenix's avatar

I refuse to watch A Minecraft Movie. I will remain smugly indignant until all my friends leave me over this. I will incessantly remind them that they went to watch the slop and I didn't.

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Draper Drapes's avatar

Putting the cool black guy in a thing before anyone else does is called subversion. But I’m getting a hint of tiny hat, so I’m sure you know all about it.

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DeepLeftAnalysis🔸's avatar

I'm a Jew who is conspiring against you, personally.

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Draper Drapes's avatar

Of course you are

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James's avatar

A series of bad subversive takes, one after the other. The social retardation point is well made though and unsurprising considering the seething anti white hatred wrapped up within this article.

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Will's avatar

This fails to support its thesis; The Minecraft movie is white coded. You do not define “white culture,” which is inherently slippery due to white people being the dominant group in America. Is white culture mainstream culture? What is mainstream culture? Do any of these concepts actually exist? I am honestly not sure about the answers to these questions but I am not convinced you could supply a satisfactory answer.

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DeepLeftAnalysis🔸's avatar

Did you read the article?

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