Last year, I watched The Minecraft Movie. This year, I watched Obsession.1
The most violent scene in the film, the biggest jump-scare, did not disturb me. I did not mind seeing the woman having her head bashed against the steering wheel until her skull was crushed and her eyeballs popped out. I didn’t have any nightmares about that, and thinking about it doesn’t cause me any pain.2 But recalling the emotional parts of the film… The skin on my forehead tightens.
Obsession made me physically ill. I wanted to vomit. I physically placed my hands over my eyes to avoid seeing some of the worst moments. I squirmed in my seat, twisting and turning my body. I wanted to run out of the theater, but legs on both sides of me trapped me.
But after I watched this film, I was not able to sleep until 36 hours later. I isolated myself in my room, turned off the lights, and tried to distract myself. During this period of sleep deprivation, I experienced brief and minor hallucinations. I feared that someone else might be in the room with me.3
Obsession is not a film where you need to worry about “spoilers.” The plot is predictable. But this is what makes it effective. It doesn’t throw curveballs or “surprise” you with gimmicks. It slowly and methodically tells you exactly what it is going to do, and then it does it, irresistibly. You know exactly what will happen, and then it happens. And yet, try as you might prepare yourself for the inevitable, none of this diminishes the intensity of the impact.4
Although it has been well over 48 hours since I saw the film, the thought of one scene continues to haunt me. As I am typing this now, I sit on the floor with my laptop on my lap, with a dim, irrational awareness that there is a space behind my laptop, the corner of the room, where someone, theoretically, could be standing or sitting, outside my view, watching me.
Obsession is a traditionalist film, and a feminist film; it is also a Buddhist film, and a racist film. But let’s start with the racial aspects.
Race in Obsession
When I say that Obsession is a “racist” film, I mean this tongue-in-cheek. I do not mean that it is perpetuating harmful stereotypes, but that every post-woke film requires racial analysis. The characters we have are:
Bear, a nervous, neurotic romantic. He has dark features, with wide eyes. He’s not “Mediterranean,” but he’s not northern European: he is actually an Early European Farmer, the founding stock of civilized Europe. One could also imagine him as a Jew, with how nebbish he is.
Ian is the blonde beast, a parody of the Nietzschean bully.
Sarah is the hapa. She represents stability, loyalty, and being “chill.” The racial implication is that, for a nerdy guy like Bear, the best match would be a hapa girl.
Nikki, the White Hispanic. She’s attractive, dark, and bubbly. But very quickly, her fiery personality results in toxic attachment and violence.
There was one black and Iranian guy at the party, who represent low neuroticism.
Obsession as a Feminist Film
Obsession is a film about feminism. The “wishing willow” represents the “redpill,” a series of tactics that men use (including looksmaxing, “negging,” and “dark triad” traits) to increase their sexual success with women. These tactics work. However, the dark side effect is that maybe they work *too* well.5
Selfless love requires understanding. Obsession, attachment, projection, and infatuation have nothing to do with selfless love, and are actually impediments to selfless love.
At the start of the film, I initially empathize with Bear.6 He’s a weak, dorky, and affable guy, who is *too* romantic, and is too nervous to ask this girl out. He receives coaching from an Andrew Tate or Clavicular-type, Ian.
Ian is a parody of “the redpill.” He acts as a mentor to Bear, “coaching” him in dating. He tells Bear to stop being so sentimental, and “neg” his way into Nikki’s pants. Ian describes himself as a hyper-competitive trivia player, who wakes up “hard just thinking about winning.”7 When Ian has a chance to make a wish, he wishes for a billion dollars, revealing his materialism and superficiality.
Ian has been banging Nikki, but he never let his “friend,” Bear, in on the secret. Ian is a terrible friend, but according to his hyper-competitive mentality, cucking his best friend is just another a notch in his belt, proving his superiority.
Nikki is seduced by these tactics, represented by the “one wish willow.” If you neg women, act hyper-confident, treat them like trash, and so on, you will be a lot more sexually successful than if you’re timid, afraid to initiate, and scared to talk. Of course, we hope that there is some middle path between the two extremes, but it seems that Bear “overdoses on redpills” and goes “all the way.”
Nikki is roped into an abusive, codependent relationship. She no longer has individuality, and has been emotionally enslaved to Bear. Her agency has been taken away; she is “possessed” and unable to escape. Is this plausible? I would argue, that from a feminist perspective, this situation is very real, despite the supernatural elements.
Women do fall in love with abusive men. The man uses them, then discards them, making them feel worthless. The cycle continues, until something drastic happens: his abuse puts her in the hospital, allowing for the intervention of family or police. Alternatively, she acts out, slashing the man’s ties or setting his stuff on fire.
The feminist critique of Bear’s actions (and by extension, Ian) is that men shouldn’t be using “redpill tactics” on women. They should get to know women, and if they care deeply about them, *then* they should initiate a relationship.8
When right-wing men watch this film, they dismiss the behavior of Nikki as “BPD.” I think we too overzealously use labels like “BPD” or “autistic” to pathologize a broad spectrum of common and normal behaviors. It is well within the range of normal behaviors for women to fall into “obsessive love.” Men experience this too -- if it wasn’t a frequent occurrence, we wouldn’t have so many operas and poems and plays on this subject, from Shakespeare to Ovid.
Nikki is the ultimate victim of the film, and I hoped and wished for her release from the curse. The film did an excellent job of making me feel sympathy for women who are victims of “redpill tactics,” which is a rare achievement in today’s media environment.
Obsession as a Traditionalist Film
I believe in “love marriage,” as opposed to traditional “arranged marriage.” But Obsession is excellent propaganda in favor of traditional (or communal) marriage.
Bear and Nikki are dysregulated. When Ian and Sarah try to intervene and moderate their extremes of the relationship, they are gaslit and shut out. In a traditional relationship (not a modern one), sex between men and women is controlled and regulated by the community -- not by individuals.
Think of how many young people are crying their eyes out over some girl or boy, who they are deeply attached to, but with whom they have a totally toxic and unhealthy dynamic. On top of this, they are too embarrassed to tell anyone. There are many married men in this kind of relationship, where their wife acts insane, but they can’t talk to their friends about it, for fear of seeming weak.
I have had this problem in all my relationships. I am afraid of getting cucked, seeming weak, or I feel disrespected -- yet I fear that if I talk about these problems with my male friends, they will tell me, “just break up with her.” They don’t understand -- I don’t want to break up, I want to work through the problems! In a communal marriage, people don’t take an individualist and hands-off approach -- they get involved, whether the couple wants them to or not.
In a traditional relationship, the entire community is involved in every decision. Religions dictate how sex happens, when, and where. You only get to live together after marriage. Children are demanded. There are restrictions on whether or not the husband can beat the wife -- even in Islam, these restrictions exist. In medieval Europe, wife-beaters were publicly shamed. In traditional African pygmy culture, men who beat their wives are ridiculed by the community -- this behavior is not tolerated. What we imagine as “traditional wife beating” is actually a product of the hyper-nuclearized family that developed in the 19th century, and it was exacerbated by industrialism and urbanization, which ripped peasants out of rural communities and placed them in atomized cities.
I am in favor of liberalism, urbanism, the nuclear family, and atomization -- but these did lead to the destruction of traditional norms around beating your wife. Overall, spousal violence increased with the liberalization of “courtship” norms in the 19th century. The Victorian era was a relatively violent time to be a wife.
Traditionalists are correct that during the pre-industrial period, women had some protections from spousal abuse. Because of extended kin networks, a man who beat his wife might have to deal with his father-in-law or brother-in-law. Even as far back as Socrates, we can find examples of men who were “whipped,” or bossed around by their wives. Traditionalism and feminism are not only compatible -- they are intertwined. It is in liberalism that men first experience a liberation from the longhouse and the “long arm of the rolling pin.”
Obsession as a Buddhist Film
Obsession shows us the ugliness and evil of attachment. We call it “love,” but it is actually the root of all suffering.
If Bear and Nikki were visited by Buddha, they could receive his teachings, and realize all the suffering that attachment causes. Instead of being obsessed with one another, they could instead learn to love each other freely, from a distance, without needing to “possess” one another. They would learn that the path to liberation involves letting go.
I am not a Buddhist, because I see value in the transformative and creative power of suffering. I believe that beauty requires suffering, and the goal of life is to take this suffering upon ourselves so that we can attain Oneness with God. I get this picture from the Book of Job, and you can also find it in the image of Christ, but you can also find it in the concept of sacrifice in Hinduism (as in the case of Ravana’s austerities, for example).
In all three religious traditions, suffering allows us to reach a transcendent state beyond suffering, where our pain no longer matters. This is true liberation. When Job suffers the death of his family but remains faithful; when Christ takes up his cross; when the heroes of the Mahabharata suffer through years of meditation and eating tree bark and standing on one leg; they achieve that transcendent state.
We should take upon ourselves suffering, bear it, and be transformed. The goal of life is not peace, or comfort, or contentment, but to maximize suffering, and to overcome it.9 Even Plato talks about how the guardians of the state, the golden-souled ones, should eat a diet of boiled beef and sleep on the floor. All idealism requires a hard life of suffering.
This is why I live with three roommates, next to crack addicts and prostitutes. My life only has value insofar as I suffer.
People who tell me to get a job, a wife, some kids, to settle down in the suburbs, they are trying to take me away from God.
Criticism of Obsession
I noticed some areas in this film could be improved, so I’d give it a 7/10. It could be upgraded from a good film into a perfect film. However, the reasons why it did not achieve a 10/10 did not detract from its positive elements.
I do not like horror films. However, I was a with a friend, and he was insistent that we go see it. This caused me to stay up all night, and I knew this would happen. But I’m still grateful for having seen it, because it helped me see my own relationship problems more empathetically, from the girl’s point of view.
If you’ve never felt insanely attached to a woman, or you’ve never felt a woman be insanely attached to you, then this film will probably not be very good. My enjoyment of this film was highly personal, and therefore, I would not expect anyone who has never experienced disordered or toxic attachment to enjoy it. Nonetheless, I still recommend this film. I believe it is a good film that, if perceived correctly, can lead us to idealism.
Here are my criticisms, not in chronological order:
The scene where Nikki gives a $20 bill to a homeless man is endearing, but for me, it distracts from her sex appeal, and feels “forced.”
It is intentionally campy. There were times when the audience laughed, and I even laughed with them. The behavior of Nikki is RIDICULOUS. In a more serious film, her behavior would be toned down.
In the scene where Nikki is hiding in the corner, watching Bear sleep, she grabs a flower pot and holds it in front of her face. It makes an impression on the audience, and it definitely impacted me, but there was a much more subtle way to play this out.
The magical elements of the film are too obvious and overdone. Optimally, the “one wish willow” would remain ambiguous, something that “might” be magical, but it is left uncertain.
If I had to remove one scene from the film, it would be when the cash falls from the ceiling on Ian’s head. It is worst scene in the entire film. There could be a much more subtle way to portray that scene, like Ian gets a call telling him he won the lottery. This ruined the “naturalism” of the film. The film acknowledges its own ridiculousness and plays with it.
The comedy of the “customer service” scenes help lighten the mood, but to make this film a 10/10, this would be left out. I don’t think that comedy made this film bad. Comedic relief helped prevent me from crying and vomiting. But if it wanted to be a 10/10 film, all the comedic elements need to be removed.
The “dead cat memorial” scene was impactful, because I love cats, and the idea of eating a dead cat makes me want to throw up. But it breaks the naturalism. It is too strange, and too early on. Nikki’s descent into madness should be more progressive. Perhaps instead of laying the cat out on the floor, she could dig a grave in the backyard. This would definitely be strange, but within the realm of plausibility.
The scene in which Nikki drags Sarah’s chair misses an opportunity. Playing up the flirtation between Sarah and Bear could have helped us sympathize with Nikki, rather than viewing her as a deranged monster.
In the hospital scene, Nikki dancing like “the Joker” (2019) was artistic and playful, but not to my liking.
The scene where Nikki stands in place, waiting for bear, dirtying herself, was too much for me. Ideally, the film would stay within certain bounds of “ambiguous realism,” and allow us to suspend our judgment.
I would remove most scenes of violence. My focus would be on the psychological thrill, not physical fear.
In summary: Nikki would not be “obviously” under a magic spell; it would be uncertain and ambiguous. This means no cat-cannibalism, no smashing her face with glass during the party. Subtly is key.
My favorite parts of the film:
The incestuous and murderous poem that Nikki reads: This was the point in the film where I most identified with Nikki. This is what the film *should* be about: the depths of human depravity, not in jump scares and violence, but in psychic horror.
When Nikki describes her own suicide: For any man (or woman) who has ever had a possessive or controlling lover threaten suicide, this hits deeply. I was enraptured and in emotional pain listening to her.
Things I’d like to see more of:
The sex appeal of Nikki. Without devolving into pornography, I’d like to see her use her sexuality to “ensnare” Bear. For example, engaging in risky acts of public affection to try to control or manipulate him.
Accentuate the tension between Sarah and Bear. This love triangle would make Nikki’s “descent into darkness” more understandable, rather than magical.
Conclusion
As silly as this film is at times, that did not detract from how frightening and disturbing it was. It takes us where we need to go, which is to ultimate destruction and finality. The ending in which Sarah and Ian die seems the most final.
Nikki’s antics are over the top, like her taping the door shut. I would try to portray her descent into madness with more subtlety. In order to bring the film to its ultimate conclusion (the death of Bear), it is necessary to escalate things to the peak level of intensity.
What follows is a critical adaption, which you don’t need to read, but is bonus content.
BONUS CONTENT
Critical Adaptation
When I like a film, I write a critical adaptation to make things more serious and “epic.” By “epic,” I don’t mean Michael Bay explosions, but grave, mature, monumental, and unrelenting. These are the changes I would make:
1. Dad’s Cancer
Change the “dad cancer” story-line. Ian’s investigation seems arbitrary -- why is Ian so interested? It contradicts his “Nietzschean” personality. Make the dad be someone who lives in town, who Bear bumps into. A dialogue like this:
Ian: “Hey, isn’t that Nikki’s dad? Shouldn’t you, you know, go and say something?”
Bear: “What am I supposed to say?”
Ian: “I don’t know dude, you’re the one banging his daughter. In fact, if it wasn’t for him dying, you probably wouldn’t be banging her at all.”
Bear: “What the fuck dude? That is not why we’re together!”
Ian: “All I’m saying is you should probably just tell him “I’m wishing you the best.” You know. To be polite.”
Bear: *sighs* “Fine.”
Bear: “Hey Mr. Freeman, I’m Bear, Nikki’s friend. I work at the... the movie store.”
Freeman: [suspicious] “I see. How is she doing there?”
Bear: “Well, she used to work there, but not anymore. Anyway, I just want to say, ... I’m wishing you the best, with everything.”
Freeman: “With what?”
Bear: “With... With the cancer...”
Freeman: “What is this, a joke?”
Bear: “No, I... I think I got something wrong...”
At this point, Bear realizes he’s been lied to, and walks away, confused and disturbed.
2. Cancer Confrontation
When Bear confronts Nikki about her lying, have Nikki be more sympathetic and seductive in her explanation.
Bear: “Does your dad really have cancer?”
Nikki: I’m sorry... [softly crying, as people stare, she gets up to leave]
Bear: Nikki, wait, come back! [Bear chases after her]
Nikki: You hate me, don’t you.
Bear: No Nikki, I don’t hate you, I just want to know what’s going on.
Nikki: I didn’t know, I didn’t know what to say, I was afraid of losing you, I was afraid of you rejecting me, I don’t know what to do, I knew you were sad about your cat and I wanted... I know it was so dumb, it was so stupid, I’m so stupid, I hate myself, I knew I wasn’t good enough for you...
Bear: No Nikki, it’s ok, it’s ok, I just wanted to know...
Nikki: Bear, can you ever forgive me? [she leans in, they close their eyes, and kiss outside the restaurant. Kissing turns more passionate and inappropriate, and she grabs his crotch]
Bear: Nikki, we can’t do this here, someone might see... [she leads him down a dark alleyway and gets on her knees. We see Bear close his eyes, until car lights shine on them] Oh shit! [Bear pulls up his pants]
Nikki: Let’s go home, ok?
Bear: Yeah, good idea [continue via the sex scene as occurs in the original plot]
3. The “watching scene.”
In this scene, it is enough to have Nikki hiding in the corner, watching Bear sleep. The idea here is to gradually escalate her insanity over time, not to unveil it suddenly.
Bear: Nikki? Is that you?
Nikki: I’m sorry.
Bear: Nikki, what’s going on?
Nikki: I had a bad dream. [she steps forward from the shadows, a disturbing mix between a smile and frown on her face, softly crying]
Bear: Is that my coat?
Nikki: It felt safer that way.
Bear: Nikki, come back to bed.
Nikki: [Nikki approaches the foot of the bed, but does not get in it] Bear, I had a dream that I lost you.
Bear: Why were you standing in the corner?
Nikki: [crying harder] I didn’t want to go back to sleep, because I was afraid the dream would come back.
Bear: Nikki, just come here.
Nikki: Can you promise me you’ll never leave me?
Bear: I promise.
Nikki: What do you promise?
Bear: That I’ll never leave you. Now can you please come back to bed? You’re scaring me.Nikki: [suddenly stops crying and smiles] I love you. [she climbs into bed and hugs bear]
4. The “rejection letter” scene.
Bear and Sarah are sharing a moment where Sarah lays her head on Bear after getting rejected from school. Nikki pops into the store.
Sarah: [startled by Nikki’s sudden, silent, and ominous presence] Hey, didn’t you quit?
Nikki: [says nothing, just stares at Sarah and Bear, with an overwrought and sad look on her face, her lips parting slightly]
Bear: Nikki, what are you doing here?
Nikki: [almost shaking] Do you love her?
Bear: [Bear looks back at Sarah, shocked and confused, and then back at Nikki] What? No, Nikki, it’s not like that...
Nikki: Are you going to leave me? [she cries]
Bear: Look, Nikki, -- sorry, [he looks back at Sarah], we need to talk-- [Bear leads Nikki into the back room] Nikki, you’re not even supposed to be here.
Nikki: [now sobbing] I knew I’d never be good enough for you, and now Sarah is going to steal you from me...
Bear: No! Nikki, listen, I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here. There’s nothing going on between me and Sarah.
Nikki: [suddenly stops crying and looks up at him] I know you’re attracted to her.
Bear: [hesitates, taken aback] What, no? I...
Nikki: Bear, I just want you to promise me that you won’t abandon me. [whispering] Promise me, Bear.
Bear: Ok, I promise.
Nikki: [places her hand on Bear’s chest] The only thing I care about in the world is making you as happy as possible. I just don’t want you to leave me. [she looks up at him and smiles]
Sarah: [walks in] Hey guys, sorry to interrupt, but the boss is coming back from break, so you might want to take whatever this is somewhere else.
Nikki: [smiling] It was nice to see you.
6. The invitation to the party.
Reframing Ian as a totally unconcerned “bro” would be a better characterization.
Ian: You coming to the party tonight?
Bear: You mean, the one you didn’t invite me to?
Ian: You must have not heard me the first time. Let’s try again. So, Bear, there’s a party at my place tonight, and I’m formally inviting you. You down?
Bear: Uh, I don’t know, let me ask Nikki.
Ian: Damn bro, you’re cucked.
Bear: I’m not cucked, she’s just my girlfriend.
Ian: Ok, whatever dude. I bet you couldn’t go one single night without her.
Bear: Ian.. are you... jealous?
Ian: Jealous? Of you? You’re whipped. Pussy whipped. It’s tragic condition.
Bear: You don’t know what love is. [parking, resentful of Ian] You know what Ian, I’ll be there.
Ian: [stepping out of the car] Alright dude, see you at 8.
6. [new scene] “The Collage”
Bear finds Nikki at home waiting for him. Replaces the “vomit scene.”
Bear: [yelling into the bedroom] Hey, Nikki, Ian’s invited us to a party, do you want to go?
Nikki: [from the bedroom] Is Sarah going to be there?
Bear: Sarah? Uh, I don’t know… [he walked into the bedroom, and sees a small shrine with candles. She’s made a collage with Sarah’s face and Bear’s face and her own face.]
Nikki: [Stands up, smiling, proud of herself] Ta-da! Do you like it?
Bear: What is this?
Nikki: I know I interrupted you and Sarah today and made a scene, and I wanted to make up for it. I want to show you how much I love you. I would do anything for you. [concerned] Bear, what is it?
Bear: This... This is freaking me out.
Nikki: [sad] I was... I was just trying to work through our problems. You know I have panic attacks and nightmares about you leaving me. I... I don’t know how to handle it sometimes... I’m sorry... I’m such a bad girlfriend... [she starts to cry] ... Now you’re going to go to Ian’s party without me...
Bear: No, it’s ok, you can still come, it’s fine, everything’s fine!
Nikki: [instantly smiles] Ok. I’ll take a shower and get dressed.
[as Nikki is in the shower, Bear stares at the effigy of Sarah, himself, and Nikki, mouth slightly open, glassy eyed]
7. The party scene.
This time, instead of Nikki protesting against the kiss between Sarah and Bear, she silently stares, obsessively.
Bear: … It says, “Kiss the person to your left.”
Nikki: Sarah, if you don’t kiss him, then you have to drink.
Sarah: [annoyed, tilting her head to the side] Ok, fine, I’ll kiss him. [she leans in to kiss bear, to his surprise, passionately. The whole room erupts in cheers]
Nikki: [Nikki’s face is dark, brooding, seething, but silent.] How did that feel?
Bear: [laughs uncomfortably, trying to play it off as a joke] That was weird... Sarah’s like my sister...
Sarah: Ok Nikki, it’s your turn now.
Nikki: [reads the Hansel and Gretel incest story, disturbing everyone]
Ian: What the fuck kind of dare was that?
Nikki: Oh, sorry, I had it upside down. [she turns the brick upside down] It says: “kiss the person across from you.” Sarah, that’s you. [Sarah looks disturbed and unwilling, but Nikki grabs her face and aggressively kisses her, to the cheers of the crowd. Sarah pulls away, shocked, and Nikki looks proud and defiant.] Do you like watching us kiss, Bear?
Sarah: [disgusted, gets up to leave]
Ian: [whispering to Bear and patting him on the back] Damn Bear, she’s a total freak. Good luck man. [Nikki ignores the attention of the crowd, and stares penetratingly at Bear.]
Bear: [embarrassed] I’ll be right back. [He walks into the kitchen to find Sarah grabbing her coat] Wait, Sarah, can we talk?
Sarah: I don’t know what the fuck is going on between you two, if you think this is some kind of game you’re playing, but I don’t want to be part of it.
Nikki: [walks into the kitchen, smiling] Is everything alright?
Sarah: I’ve got to go.
Bear: Sarah, wait! [Sarah slams the door shut. Bear turns around, angry.] What the fuck is going on?
Nikki: [Nikki’s stares at him, switching between smiles and frowns, until she grabs a kitchen knife and slices her wrist quickly.] I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!
Ian: [Ian walks in] yo, what the fuck happened!
Nikki: [crying] I’m sorry, I was trying to cut the fruit and... I’m sorry, I’m sorry…
Ian: For fuck sakes! Bro, you gotta get her out of her...
8. Sarah’s SUV.
Sarah hands her acceptance letter to Bear.
Sarah: Listen, Bear, I need to tell you something. Nicky and Ian have been hooking up on and off for like 2 years. It’s super chill, and not romantic. But a few weeks ago, Ian cut things off with Nicky, and she was acting so weird, and I think she’s just dating you to get back at Ian.
Bear: [angry] Are you serious?
Sarah: I know this hurts Bear, but I didn’t want to see you get your heart broken like this. I care about you. [Bear and Sarah kiss]
Nikki watches from a distance. As Sarah kisses Bear, Bear can see Nikki’s face outside the window, and he pushes Sarah away, afraid.
Sarah: [looking behind her, but no one is there this time] What’s wrong?
Bear: I have to go. I can’t be with you. [He gets out of the car, gulping, totally disoriented.]
Bear: [whispering] Nikki? [Sarah’s car drives away]
Nikki: [whispering from the shadows] I’m right here, Bear.
Bear: [whispering] How did you get here, Nikki?
Nikki: You told me you wouldn’t leave me.
Bear: I was afraid of how you would react if she came to the house.
Nikki: Is this because of Ian?
Bear: [pauses, somewhat defiant] Yeah. You fucked Ian, didn’t you? You lied about your dad having cancer, you lied about Ian... How can you claim to love me if nothing you say is true?
Nikki: I’ll make it up to you Bear.
Bear: Nikki, where are you?? [Silence, then he hears his own car start, and sees it pulling away]10
I left the theater around midnight, and it’s now 6:09am. I think I’ve said everything I can about this film. I can’t sleep.11
Each year, I watch one film. The reason I don’t watch movies frequently is because they always impact intensely. I’m not autistic, schizophrenic, or depressed, so maybe you could call this being “bipolar” or “borderline.” I call it “artistic empathy.” I get deeply into art, to an extent that I find exhausting. Watching movies is an extremely emotional experience for me.
The first time I noticed that I “wasn’t like the other boys” was in 2012, when I saw the first Avatar movie in theaters. My friends like the special effects, but otherwise, they seemed unaffected. For me, the film brought up a whirlwind of emotions: the clash of civilizations, the white race, colonialism, imperialism, genocide... I felt it all vividly.
I wouldn’t describe myself as an “overly emotional person.” When I was a teenager, and my dad suddenly died, I did not cry. There’s something special about art that causes me to become a basketcase.
I do not believe that any damage we do to the body can hurt the soul, and that physical death causes no harm whatsoever to the soul.
Here are a few ways you could explain my experiences:
Neuroticism: Due to being in the top 1% of neuroticism, horror movies cause me extreme psychological pain, far beyond what a “normal” person experiences.
Immaturity: Maybe I am immature and have the psychology of a 12 year old boy.
Effectiveness: Maybe my experience was a natural and logical result of the movie being effective at causing torment, distress, and disturbance.
Immunity: Perhaps since I never watch horror movies, I haven’t built up a “psychological immune system” against them.
I contrast the film with the opera Carmen, in which the roles are reversed: Carmen bewitches Don Carlos into loving her, and then discards him for another man, leading to her death at his hands. It has the same feeling of dread, tragedy, and anticipation.
I would compare this film to Joker (2019). Joker was a terrible, evil film, which made me depressed afterwards. My hatred of that film is part of why I hate the “dissident right,” because they promoted it so heavily.
Obsession is not an unredeemable film; it is much better than Joker. However, it was a painful experience for me.
Imagine how creepy it would be, if I had been stalking you for years, building shrines to you, saying prayers that you would fall in love with me... It would be disgusting, shocking, and upsetting. I’ve been on both sides of this issue. I’ve had girls become obsessed with me, without really knowing anything about me; I’ve also been rarely obsessed with certain women, to a toxic and sinister degree.
As a minor internet celebrity, I receive messages from men in which they claim to feel a deep “spiritual kinship” with me -- despite the fact that these people know nothing about me, and I know virtually nothing about them. If they knew me at all, they would know that I am really uncomfortable reading five paragraph essays about how “you’ve changed my life.” No I didn’t change your life -- you change your own life. I’m just a dude on the internet who sometimes writes moderately enjoyable essays. When I respond negatively to these effusive parasocial declarations of love, these “spurned lovers” very quickly turn sour. They go from being my biggest fan to being my biggest enemy in an instant.
The name Bear has a dual meaning: he’s simultaneously cute and cuddly, but also contains a hideous strength that he might not know how to control.
“I wake up every Wednesday rock-hard thinking about trivia night.”
When Bear dies, and the curse that has been cast on Nikki “disappears.” I’ve experienced this with women, where, at first, they seem obsessed with me, but then, when I am no longer available, their obsession magically disappears. This seems to be an adaptive evolutionary trait among women.
Schopenhauer believes that one should take a contemplative attitude, detaching from the world; Nietzsche believes that one should engage in viciousness, cruelty, and aloofness, reaching a state of divine wrath. All you Nietzscheans in the comments can correct me -- this is why I am not a Nietzschean, because he is not a systematic thinker, so he contradicts himself.
End: I also wrote a conclusion in which Nikki kills Ian, but this didn’t seem like a good quality scene.
Deleted Scene: Nikki Kills Ian
Bear rushes to Ian’s house, banging on his door, but he’s not home. He calls him on the phone, trying to reach him, but he doesn’t pick up. Finally, Ian’s car pulls into the driveway.
Ian: Yo, what the fuck is up?
Bear: Ian, I need to talk to you.
Ian: What’s your problem dude? First you fuck up my party with your crazy bitch, now you’re stalking me?
Bear: Ian, listen to me. Nikki is crazy. You’re right. There’s something wrong with her.
Ian: Dude, I have no advice whatsoever. You stuck your dick in crazy, that’s your problem.
Bear: No, Ian, listen... She thinks you’re the reason I’m with Sarah.
Ian: Holy fuck dude. You’re banging both chicks and you blame that shit on me? You can fuck right off.
Bear: IAN, JUST LISTEN TO ME. I need you to just listen to me.
Ian: Not interested, dude, go find another therapist. [Ian slams the door in Bear’s face. Inside, he finds Nikki is waiting, wearing a red bathrobe.]
Ian: [startled] Holy shit, you fucking scared me! What are you doing in here?
Nikki: [smiling innocently, with her hands behind her back] You gave me a spare key, remember?
Ian: Yo, what the fuck is going on? Your boyfriend is right outside? What is this, some kind of a threesome?
Nikki: It’s just between me and you. [she steps closer]
Bear: [outside the window, Bear is banging, yelling] IAN LET ME IN!
Ian turns around to look, and Nikki pulls out a knife and begins stabbing Ian, while Bear watches from the window. Bear jumps in his car, and turns it on, but he doesn’t move it. He just starts crying.
Nikki: [stepping outside with the knife] It’s over Bear. I’m sorry you had to see that, but it’s ok now.
[10] Before the film, I went out for sushi with my friend, the Chieftain. Being the leader, he announced that we would be seeing a horror film. Horror movies are against my religion. Even as an atheist, I always hated horror movies. Nonetheless, I consented to accompany the Chieftain and his girlfriend.
There are two forms of religion in this world: the religion of slaves, and the religion of heroes. Often, these two religions mix together, so that one cannot make heads or tails of them. But I will briefly explain the difference:
Slave-Religion argues that horror movies show us the dangers of magic and demonic possession and hell, and “scare us straight” into the arms of God. I reject hell and demons as a fantasy of sadists and slaves. Epstein conspiracists and AI Doomers are superstitious and resentful. Horror movies promote fear, and fear has no place in a truly spiritual worldview, which is that of the Nobleman. The truly noble aristocratic man has no fear of spirits, demons, or hell itself. Like Odysseus and Aeneas, he goes down into hell, returns, and conquers by force. He places his faith in the inner nobility and supremacy of his soul over the violence of this world. He does not fear death. While cowards tell ghost stories, the great warrior strikes fear into their hearts.
When I wrote my article on [Why I hate Rick and Morty], the comments claimed that I was either insane or joking around. That article was written as a deadly serious attempt to explain different religious and cultural systems, and how they impact our conception of sexuality, humor, and violence. The fact that people interpreted my analysis as incoherent, incomprehensible, or satirical is very troubling.
There are, of course, times when I want to be funny, and I lean into or exaggerate certain styles of presentation to produce an entertaining effect. But in all honesty, I had no intention whatsoever to do this. I was trying to objectively break down why I hate cynical nihilism, and I prefer a heroic view of life.
For the Heroic Greeks, they deemed it sacrilegious to depict a monster without also noting the Hero who had slain the monster. Every monster, no matter how great, could always be overcome through the power of breeding and Will. Herakles, Apollo, Perseus and Bellerophon have no fear as they charge into battle, alone, to confront the ugliest and most vile monsters.
The religion of the Heroic Greeks mandated that we consider Beauty and Goodness to be an inherent quality of Power. Any creature which is ugly must be inferior to a higher type which is beautiful. The power of an ugly monster can never be supreme; it is always able to be overcome through the help of the glorious Olympians.
In the Greeks, we have a picture of hope and faith in the power of beauty to overcome ugliness. Yet the Greeks were not shy to depict ugliness; they were well aware of the Medusa, the woman with the hair of snakes, whose ugliness was so potent that it could petrify a man. The Greek depiction of monsters were actually using allegory, analogy, and metaphor to describe the human-sacrifice cults of the Pelasgians. Several times in Greek myth, a woman is tied to a rock, where a so-called “Cetus” or “sea-monster” will come to eat her. If we take this myth more literally, what we have here is a ritualized description of a human-sacrifice cult, in which men wearing white masks and black robes would tie a virgin teenage girl to a rock, cut open her stomach, eat her organs, using the entrails to prophesy the future. The Greeks, who came as invaders, conquered this native people and smashed their religion. The religion of the Greeks never forgot that terrifying more ancient religion, that of the Pelasgians, which they had overcome through manly valor.
H.P. Lovecraft understood this intuitively when creating his Cthulhu mythos, whose name is borrowed from Chthonia, meaning, the Gods of the Pelasgians. Lovecraft’s error is that he never depicts the Olympians who must inevitably triumph over ugliness. Lovecraft is not a heroic writer, but a horrifying one.
