My Craziest Conspiracy Theories
Vatican II: Electric Jerusaloo.
Please do not become a paid subscriber just (only) to read this post. Seriously. It is spiritually traumatic when you guys subscribe, and then immediately delete your Substack account afterwards, as if the content you have unveiled was so disturbing that it caused you to take a vow of poverty and leave this world for good. Do not read this if you are not a seasoned user of the Deep Left arts — this is not for the uninitiated.
All of my paid subscribers are my close internet friends, without which, my life would descend into darkness — I would have to get a job. So please, when you consider signing up just to read this juicy post, understand that we are entering into a sacred bond. We are a team, and we are in this together, for life. It’s just you and me, brother (or sister, we love our Deep Left moms too!)
Anyway, I really just want to reward existing subscribers — not entice new ones. But sometimes I just can’t help myself. My Craziest Conspiracy Theories — sexy! Seductive! How could you not click?
Enough left-splaining. Let’s get down to business:
A conspiracy is the idea that there are hidden forces working behind the scenes, coordinating and orchestrating events, puppeteering, manipulating us all to bend to their will… and we don’t even know it. Usually, conspiracy theories have to do with the Jews, the Jesuits, the British Crown, or the Illuminati. And usually, the ones doing the conspiring are hiding because they have evil or malicious intentions.
What I will be presenting today shouldn’t be taken too seriously. It’s sort of an AGI thought.
Superintelligence is coming in 2028, and it will begin writing all my articles for me — instantly. I will no longer be staying up all night for 10 hours writing 10,000 word essays. No: AGI will perfectly mimic my style, delivering my exact ideology with perfect accuracy and concise editing. It is at that point that my job as a communicator will be over, and it will be time to walk into the sunset.1
But for now, I figure I might as well ride out these last three years of pre-AGI hard. Why hold anything back? Let’s just let it all out there.
Here are my CRAZIEST conspiracy theories: