How to "Personality-Max"

Why Black Guys Aren't Hot

This is a draft.¹

Male Attractiveness is, broadly:

1. Socio-Economic Status

2. Facial Structure

3. Skin color

4. Upper Body Strength

5. Artistic skills (music, painting, acting, languages)

6. Xenophilia (foreign accent, unique background)

7. Personality

The last one, personality, has its own components:

1. Confidence (self-esteem, narcissism)

2. Assertiveness (aggressiveness)

3. Humor (ability to deflect negative affect)

I would argue that black males:

1. fail on socio-economics (statistically, poor and uneducated)

2. meh on facial structure (weak nasal bridge, weak brow ridge, relatively weak chin development)

3. meh on skin color (sweet spot is Mediterranean-Tibetan range, not black)

4. average on upper body strength

If you look at any running sport, black males overperform. But any sport where you don’t have to run very far (tennis, football quarterback, rowing, swimming) sees a dramatic underrepresentation of black males. In terms of physical attractiveness, women care mostly about upper body strength. No black advantage here.

In artistic skills, I would argue maybe a slight perceived cultural advantage in music, but that’s highly dependent on whether the girl likes rap, which as of right now, seems to be a declining genre among Gen Z. If you’re part of the crowd that likes pop-punk, Taylor swift, Adele, or whatever Zoomers listen to, this advantage doesn’t apply.

Blacks might have a xenophilia advantage in certain contexts, but this is inversely proportionate to where they actually live. In Mississippi, they aren’t xenophilic at all. From my cursory research, black males overperform in West Virginia, because there aren’t a ton of them, it’s a rural state, and it’s poor, so their socio-economic disadvantage doesn’t hit as hard.

The place where black males shine is in personality: confidence, assertiveness, and humor. You can disagree, or say that white males have plenty of this too, but I’m saying that this is the area where black males have the greatest competitive advantage.

There are a ton of black comedians. Whether you love black people or hate them, we can all admit that black people are funny. Humor is the ability to use emotional affect. We could write an essay on what exactly humor is beyond this, but black males simply have a higher level of visible emotional affect. They are more likely to display anger, happiness, or confusion in a clear and visible way — hence, they are already half-way there to being funny. White males tend to be a bit more reserved, and this is more true as we go north, especially north east toward Finland.

Assertiveness is the willingness to be demanding. It is the inverse of introverted masochism — it is extroverted sadism. I’m not saying that one of these ways is better, but that women seem to love extroverted sadists much more than inwardly suffering monks.

We have anime boys who women pretend to love, but this doesn’t match who actually has sex. Sex is obtained through networking, showing up, being present. If you got to 7 parties a week, 365 parties a year, you chances of incidentally meeting people, who connect you to more people, who eventually give you enough chances to find someone to have sex with, dramatically increase. If you stay home, all you have is dating apps, which, are somewhat of a skillset in themselves.

Finally, we have confidence. Confidence is related to assertiveness, but it really has to do with identity. Those who lack confidence doubt themselves and apologize for everything. Those who brim with confidence make everyone their friend.

Here are two actors: Steve Buscemi and Bill Skarsgård. I would not say that either of them are hot, meaning, they are not in the top 30% of facial attractiveness (for non-obese males). They have large, neotenous eyes which make them appear infantile, like alien babies. However, they have a high SMV, because as actors, they have an attractive skillset and high socio-economic value.

They might also have personality traits which make them attractive. That’s the problem with men — you can’t actually judge how attractive a man is by how hot he is. The two things are correlated, but not identical.

I would model it like this:

There is some correlation between facial attractiveness and sexual success. It’s just not a correlation of 1.0. It’s maybe like 0.1. Now the reason that you might not believe me is because this is controlling for EVERYTHING. Meaning: if you have two guys who are non-verbal autistic, and one looks like Henry Cavill, and the other like Steve Buscemi, well, they are probably both not going to get laid, because they live with their parents and play with model trains all day.

However, because facial features are correlated with personality traits, it’s very hard to find a non-verbal autist with the face of Henry Cavill. Basically, physiognomy is real.

Where I disagree with looksmaxers is when they say that improving your looks is the best bang for your buck if your goal is to have sex. If you have $10,000, and you can either spend that increasing your socio-economic status, or getting jaw surgery, I’d recommend you get that college degree or obtain that promotion. Bribe if you have to. Use AI. Using money to make money is the oldest trick in the book. Wasting limited resources on mere physical appearance is not optimal for men.

Female Attractiveness

For women, things are different. This is because men initiate, while women wait. If you are a man, you need to develop initiatory powers: confidence, humor, assertiveness, alongside wealth, status, upper body strength, and even some artistic skills. But if you are a woman, your sexual success depends entirely on three things:

1. Hip-to-waist ratio

2. Facial attractiveness

3. Breast and ass size relative to total BMI

The least genetic of these is facial attractiveness, through the magic of makeup, skincare, and dieting. One can also get breast implants, and even ass implants.

Technically, you can train your quads, glutes, abductors and adductors, so extensively that you increase your “hips” measurement, while reducing your waist as much as possible. This is much more difficult than the task of men, which is to simply increase the size of their biceps, triceps, delts, traps, and chest — these are all muscles that, due to higher testosterone, men have an easier time developing. Increasing your hip width as a woman is hard.

It is technically true that, as a woman, if you place yourself in enough parties, you will eventually find yourself in conversations with men, and they will eventually discover that you have intelligence and personality. I’d break down female attractiveness as follows:

1. Hip-Waist Ratio

2. Facial attractiveness

3. Breast/Ass Size (Relative to BMI)

4. Neotony

5. Skin Color²

It’s at this point that we have to say that there is a factor of personality in female attractiveness, but it’s not so easy to define. I’d basically describe it as “the ability to be a good listener,” asking questions, and being genuinely empathetic.

One of the hottest girls I know seemed to have strong skills in this area. Basically, she made me feel like my particular passions and interests were important.

Now, as a woman you might not want to lie to men, which is understandable. If you find most men boring, you might not want to develop your empathy or your listening skills. Maybe you’d rather stay alone or confine yourself to cheap hookups. That’s your choice. But I would suggest to women who want to attract men that they learn how to either develop real interest, or learn how to fake it.

Obviously, yes, I find women to be physically attractive. But personality-wise, when a woman bothers to express even the slightest interest in me, my history, my identity, my work, my passion, my hopes and dreams, my ideas, my ideals, my quest, my values… Wow! I’m not going to say that it makes me rock hard in itself, but it certainly makes me stomach do turns and drives me crazy. If you want a man to love you, I believe this is how you achieve it.

That might sound like the advice of a narcissist who simply wants someone to listen to himself blather on about his self interests — fair enough. I’m not defending these strategies as morally right, merely effective.

I assume that, as a woman, you can also develop your artistic skills, your xenophilia, your confidence, your assertiveness, and a sense of humor, and none of that hurts.³ I think women who can play the piano and who like to paint demonstrate a beautiful sensitivity. I’m impressed by people who learn second languages and memorize lines of Shakespeare. Bravo! But again, it’s like the looksmaxing question: you have limited time and resources, and if your goal is to obtain a partner, the most efficient way to do that is to learn how to make men feel listened to, valued, and respected.

I think most women are capable of doing this, or at least improving their ability to appear as such, but they choose not to. They prefer to be lonely than to put in this effort. No judgment from me: just the facts.

I’m going to end this article with a picture of Dave Chapelle, a man who I find to be much less hot than Steve Buscemi, but who is clearly more attractive, because he is more famous and humorous and many other things.

If Dave Chapelle spent his youth in the gym, hitting the weights, saving up money for jaw surgery, would he look better? Probably. Would he have more sex? Maybe marginally. But I think Dave Chapelle’s strategy of becoming a great comedian — which required a lot of hard work and discipline — was actually a much better idea.

Now if you’re personality-challenged, and you have absolutely no skills to build whatsoever, then perhaps this advice is useless. But if that’s the case, I don’t really want to be helping such people, because they sound like soulless zombies. I want to help people who are maybe a little bit neurotic, a little confused, a little worried and lonely and self-hating, but who could benefit from a re-framing, who ultimately do have something to offer the world.

Maybe the funniest way to end this article would be to point out that even the hottest gay guys get no girls. At some point, you actually have to LOVE the opposite sex!

yes this is in fact gay porn

It’s also inspired by Richard Hanania’s observations, put into my own words.

1.

2. Personally, I prefer tan women, but pale women generally get the strongest response.

3. Obviously confidence and assertiveness can come off as scary to some men, but you probably didn’t want to attract those men anyway.