Why are friendships contentious?
Insecure Dominance and Secure Respect
I view relationships through three prisms:
dominant/submissive. One person is leading and assertive, and the other person takes a passive/polite/receptive role. However, both people enjoy this, because there is mutual respect. The dominant partner respects the submissive partner, and vice versa.
dominant/avoidant. Same as above, but the passive partner is uncomfortable, and feels afraid, anxious, insulted, or vulnerable.
egalitarian: a hypothetical structure in which neither person is passive nor leading.
Of my 14 best friends, here’s how I would describe each dynamic:
