My Secret Religion
In three years, this blog will be automated by AI. No more human intervention needed, just endless contrarian edgy takes with perfect spelling and grammar. No one will ever tell me to edit again, because AGI will do a much better job than I ever could. I will walk off into the sunset.
In the meantime, I will reveal my secret religion, Globalism.
My religion is not real because no one follows it. However, I am going to engage in a thought experiment where I imagine you have put a gun to my head and asked me to reveal my secret religion anyway.
In bulletpoint form:
Freemasonry died because it’s too stagnant
The nomadic model: the Blue Bus Brotherhood
Strict-strange sexuality
Criminality is the best form of bonding
Evangelism must target the youth
Total war communism is required to maximize resources
A sacred language beyond casual speech
Initiation rituals which weed out the weak and create a bond
Certain physical requirements must be met
A sense of urgency and emergency is to be cultivated
A strong prohibition against animal cruelty
A belief in reincarnation and long-time scales