Being an e-celeb is a hellish existence.
I’m just going to (para)quote this whole essay, because it’s really good:
“A broad subsection of the population has decoupled their identity from their physical body, and suffers as a result. It isn’t hell in the Christian sense, more in the Buddhist sense, where the normal attachment and craving associated with the real world is intensified.
The internet is a hellish subspace. People’s online personas possess their real selves, and tossing them outside of their body into sub-existence. The persona is an egregore, decoupled from my actual self, possessing me.
There is no fruition from being a niche internet microceleb. There’s a very low chance that the lever of history hinges on the fulcrum of a random e-celeb. None of the arguments I have had with people have changed anything, it was just another way to satiate my boredom. Why did I continue? Why did I keep going? I had become what the Buddhists call a Hungry Ghost. I could not let go of what was gone, so even after the death of my virtual body, I had to keep going...
All of the insane homeless people and criminals you see in American cities have their analogues on the internet. They are never held accountable for their actions, either because they aren’t important enough or because it’s impossible to catch them.
The Internet is simultaneously “forever” and completely ephemeral. The majority of URLs from 20 years ago are now link-rotted across the board. If you spend long enough online, you end up with a bunch of accounts with a bunch of actions across so many websites, that are just sitting there rotting.”
Ok, end quote, start essay.
Being an e-celeb is a hellish existence. The worst part for me is the podcasting. When I have to go on a podcast, and I am expected to “be deepleft,” it’s a nightmare. I am not “deepleft.” I am a guy. Having to perform, to be “on brand,” to be professional, it’s all a lie.
Now, that being said: I believe that “deepleft” exists, just not as “me.” This sounds absolutely crazy, but it’s true.
